We were visited by a Mother Ship last night. Woken at 2 a.m. by a sound as of a mighty rushing wind, I found the house to be under the scrutiny of a light bright enough to qualify for the X Files.  Back and forth it went and back and forth went a little white van along the lane just opposite, clearly caught in the electromagnetic phase-shift graviton field that every child knows is generated by these things.  Eventually it headed off down towards the cement works where it must have transported its target off-world because it never came back.

Today, I find that my wheelie bin has been moved and tidily replaced – The Wrong Way Round.  Some claim it was the police trying to stir up a bit of action in the hope of a Channel 5 special but they can’t fool me.  Not a dog in the village barked.  Make your own mind up, I say.

From Not Being First Fish by P Spencer-Beck.  Available from Amazon (non-illustrated edition). Second edition (illustrated) due 2018.