Humour

How the Fat Fairies Saved the World’ Zouch Magazine, May 26th, 2014. Coincidentally – or maybe not – published at the exact GMT time of the event: Then, at about half past seven on a Monday morning (Greenwich Meantime, naturally), a huge invisible energy net, formed of particles so exotic they hadn’t even been assigned their own letter of the Greek alphabet, swept around the world, gathering up large moving objects and scanning them as it went, as if they all had bar codes. 1257 words

Speckles in the Sky‘, This Personal Space, May 11th, 2013. The man was coming into view feet first: trainers, track suit bottoms, and finally a T shirt with Grey Power printed across the front. The rest of him was rather blurred, and what’s more she could see dark speckles in the sky. Written for a friend’s retirement, Speckles is published  with her permission. 803 words 

Puddles like Pillows’,  Zouche Magazine, August 28th, 2013. After a while, with the streets and parks getting less cluttered, it started to look as if some cosmic recycler had dropped by to tidy us up. So then people stopped using the bins and just hung about with their cameras waiting for their banana skin or whatever to take off. 984 words. Finalist in the 2014 Lascaux Short Story competition and now in the anthology Wonderful! 

Cat Nav is out on podcast, August 5th, 2013, read by the wonderful Folly Blaine who pronounces ‘prestidigitator’ so you don’t have to. 999 words

Oars for Legs’Full of Crow, July 2013. It’s very embarrassing to have a spasm in the middle of a – how shall we say – romantic interlude. Even more so when you have succeeded in trapping your paramour by the genitals and pinned him up against the wall. Cerebral palsy can be a bugger sometimes. 278 words

Accounting for Nitwits‘, Every Day Fiction – January 21st 2013. Lady Isadora has just been elected President of an upper crust rose growers’ society: “I’ll even be overseeing all those absolutely fascinating little spreadsheet things.” My smile is fixing, like acrylic paint on a garden gnome. “They do all the work for you, of course, you just twiddle them a bit.”  995 words

Cat Nav‘ Every Day Fiction – September 24th, 2012. “Now you’ll stay in at night,” Joe told Houdini, the big, orange, cantankerous-looking tabby he was trying to stuff into a carrier. Not flippin’ likely, said Houdini, although of course he didn’t because he was a cat … 999 words

‘A very particular view’out on Roadside Attractions, July 23rd, 2012. Ever wondered how the universe works? Here’s your answer. 677 words

‘Moonrise’Every Day Fiction, January 2011. Inspired by the unfortunate experience of a friend. It’s fiction, really it is … 303 words

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