Mismatch

jdurham@morguefile.com

Recycled from 2009, here’s one of my very first flash pieces, written as part of my university fiction writing course.

Mismatch

Andy wriggled in his seat, stretching his legs, or trying to, in the cramped space that was Dress Circle. In his head he tried out phrases such as ‘Well, who’d have thought a Carstairs play would turn out to be this tedious!’ and ‘I’m happy to cut and run if you are!’ but one glance at Alison, leaning forward as far as possible and with eyes like saucers, told him that this was already a non-starter.

He grappled for a substitute. ‘I think my bleep just went off’ he hissed to Alison’s shoulder.

‘Ssssh!’ she hissed back. Then ‘How come? You’re not on call you said!’

‘Change of plan, Dave dropped out…’

‘I didn’t hear your bleep’

‘It’s on silent..’

‘I wish you were!’ someone spat from the row behind.

‘Sorry, it’s…’

‘Sssssh!

‘I have to go’ Andy had no idea how to conclude this fabrication as he wasn’t on call, his bleep was at home and now he was surely in it up to HERE.

‘Go if you must; I’m staying’ Alison shot back, apparently aiming for sotto voce but delivering a grating growl instead and attracting even more irritated glares from their plush seated neighbours.

‘But you’ve got the car!’ That was close to a wail. Suddenly the consequences of his deception were revealing themselves to Andy in all their stark defeat. Walking home in the rain. No late meal at the Indian. And probably no sex either. Make that definitely no sex either. All because he couldn’t sit through a poxy Carstairs play!

Well, he’d burned his boats now. At least if Alison was staying, he wouldn’t have to try to fool her into thinking his phone was the hospital bleeper. He tried for a martyred self sacrificing expression as he began his climb of shame along the row towards the exit but Alison wasn’t looking, she was back in full-on, Carstairs pretentious up-his-own-backside land with just a hint of hacked-off bristle along her shoulders.

Andy escaped into the night. Look on the bright side, he thought, it was a good thing he’d found out about this just three dates in and not after a whole lot of expensive personal and material investment. No sex was that good! He probed for his wallet and headed for the pub.

©suzanne conboy-hill 2009

Rationalising and Re-cycling

List of science fiction television programs

Irrelevant Image (via Wikipedia) apparently triggered by content of post!

For reasons that had to do with ignorance, and the idea that there might a cap to the number of posts I am allowed, (or at least might be likely to approach in the next hundred years), I put my fiction on its own page, and then announced each new entry in a post. How dumb is that? Same number of posts but no room for contiguous comment – sheesh!

So, as of now, my bits and pieces of writing, including the infamous ‘poitry’ if that ever emerges again, will be posted on their own page where they can accrue their own comments. The Nano Fiction page will become a kind of anthology, and the blog posts will be the first hit for any visitors. Very rational. Very organised.

And the re-cycling? Gives me an excuse to bless my neglected little darlings with a space of their own, in between moments of contemporaneous inspiration, innit?

Tales for Canterbury

The Canterbury Region is in the South Island o...

Image via Wikipedia

This is from Cat Connor via a friend:

On 22nd February, Christchurch, New Zealand, and the wider Canterbury region, was rocked by another round of serious earthquakes. This time they struck during the middle of the day causing more devastation, and loss of life, to a city still trying to pick up the pieces from last September’s quakes.

Author Cassie Hart asked immediately what can writers do to help – and came up with Tales For Canterbury. She and Anna Caro with help from Random Static and DesignEm have pulled together an anthology. ALL proceeds will go to Red Cross.

We need your assistance to spread the word and help us get as many pre-orders as possible, so that we can start getting some money through to the Red Cross Earthquake Appeal. Pre-orders are also important to determine how many of the print edition we initially order. If you head over to http://randomstatic.net/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=1_10&products_id=51, you will find the pre-order information.

You can find out more about this project and the contributors here:
http://talesforcanterbury.wordpress.com/

Aliens on your Sofa

cats on a chairThe Aliens on your Sofa

Vet’s day today and, to echo a friend, it’s not all about Vietnam; these vets are the brave souls willing to take up the challenge of delivering vaccines to the nation’s ungrateful pets and this week it’s the turn of Ms Massive and Mr FancyPants.

Aka Muppet and Monty; this tale is from happier times – here